Realisation and double standards

Hmmm.

I see on blogs, a lot of frustration and stress. Guess I'm about to add to it.
Everyone, jiayou though.

I was rather surprised and stunned when I realised it was true when Mum said she hadn't seen me in days. -.- I think because of that, I should stop going home so late. -.-

Doubts if I'm going to be blogging much, there just isn't much time, hmmm.

Just to keep things interesting, I've just decided that I'll keep writing to A.E. for the heck of it. I wonder what kind of really random stuff I can do? Hmmmm.

Life needs something interesting, or depressing things just start to bog you down~
I used to have manga/anime to keep me alive during school, but now, I gotta have something new to look forward to as a goal. As such, I shall use this to kill two problems in one go.

Listening to a really sad melody now, which is probably what sparked off the following. Yes, it's Icy Heart.

You, and You.
There is a road.

There are dozens of roads.

There are millions, an infinite number of roads.

We walk on one of them, we walk on another, we take this step at crossroads, and branch off into yet another.

We separate from previous companions.

We make new companions.

I see you on the same road as I.
I see you on a different road.
You are behind me.
You are beside me, albeit on another road.

You don't see me, for all the glancing back you do, and all the waving that I do.
You are waving back to me, your whispers reaching only me. I hear you, honestly, I do, despite the distance between us. My whispers have reached you, you nod, and we continue walking together, and separately.

I want you there, but alas, I fear you will not step beside me when I walk alone now. And then I resolve to walk alone without fear, without faltering, without support.
Yet right then, when either of us choose to walk beside the other, you follow my pace easily, and I yours, falling into step with ease. The sound of our feet striking the pavement with the exact same rhythm and timing, brings quiet, settling peace, comfortable ease about our silent acknowledgement.

I am no longer illusioned that you will be there all the time, neither do I expect you to do so.
I still fear that you will disappear one day, that I will lose you as well. After so many years, the same feeling that drove me to write that annoyingly damned letter, still haunts me. But somehow, I am learning to believe in the present, to believe that our individual strengths will not fail us when we walk alone.

Whether or not the road I take in future will take me further and further from people I know, whether or not you will turn blind and deaf to my words and actions in future, it is irrelevant. What matters is now. I cherish our friendship, and will continue to do so. To you, and you who remembers I have a blog once every blue moon, this I promise.

Don't worry, because I have discovered that my strength is enough for me to walk alone.

Whether any of you choose to confide in me, it's entirely your decision. I see the frustration and stress in the expressions used in your blogs, and I will only be too willing to know your troubles. I do not pretend I can solve them, but if you need a listening ear, please, do not hesitate to ask for my understanding.

But take note. I still retain the right to choose who I confide to. Do not try to force answers from me, I will not take well to brute force. All I require is a simple question, and sufficient trust/understanding.

In this, there are double standards, I admit.

And yes, how late it is now.